Improving Professional Correspondence

A letter of complaint is an opportunity to alert someone who may be familiar or unfamiliar with a problem with the fact necessary to investigate. In the beginning you have to make sure you are clear, concise, and persuasive. State the facts and how you would like the situation resolved. Lastly, provide a timeline for their expected response before you forward the matter onto a higher authority. In order to communicate well, there are some guidelines to that you might want to use for example: An introduction that clearly identifies the subject of the complaint; A body paragraph that clearly and specifically explains the nature of the complaint, and provides the reader with all of the information needed to provide an appropriate response; A conclusion that clearly states what actions are needed to resolve the problem.

When you are writing to communicate make sure the result is clear communication that will be understood by your intended audience. In the beginning make sure the subject line state the main point of the email. Next I revised the recommendation sentence. Instead of stating, “I have been reviewing the “errors” in the computer files”, I used the statement, “I strongly recommend that we review the “errors” in the computer files.” I changed it to reflect the writers’ tone as if this is a serious matter. People react to what they read on a moment by moment base and their reaction at that given moment tells how their reaction will follow throughout reading the memo. I also kept paragraphs short and separated by blank spaces which promote readers easier. In the first paragraph I state the main point of the email to help the reader to know the key of the information. In the original memo, Pryzblo used the word(s) “my people”, “Your people” repeatedly, so I replaced the word, “people” with “staff”; furthermore deleted unnecessary words.

In the revised document I hope to things would be different by being positive and helpful rather than a negative and critical. It helps for your complaint to be seen as an opportunity to improve things, rather than an arena for confrontation. If the situation is not resolved, I suggested in the third paragraph another means of solving the issue to continue in helping to arrive at a positive outcome. So it helps to be seen as a positive person.

EXAMPLE OF THE REVISE MEMO's BODY:

I strongly recommend that we review the “errors” in the computer files

I really need your help in this matter. The majority of your clerks were making these errors, as you mentioned in our meeting. There has been 37 incorrect  payroll checks; in 35 cases that are assoicated with time sheet, time tickets and computer files.

I do not feel that my staff should be blamed for any of the errors. They are doing their job correctly as far as copying the time tickets that your clerks prepare. 

You and I discussed requiring my computer operators’ staff to perform a very time-consuming task of comparing their entries against the time sheets from which your clerks are miscopying.

My staff does not have the allotted time to correct the errors that are made by your staff and we do not have it in our budget to hire additional help. May be there is some sort of system that you and your staff can come up with in solving the problem. . I am willing to listen to any other suggestion that you and your clerks might to help improved your errors

I Can I ask that you look into this to ensure that your staff will review their work carefully before giving it to the computer operators? If you would like to discuss this matter further, please contact me at (601-555-7272).

I would greatly appreciate your help.

Blog Assignment 3: Defining Your Website's Objectives

Searching for information on the web can be very difficult for some readers. The website’s attraction is sometimes the primary reason that readers approach the Web sites in the beginning. The next thing is the web sites are supposed be design for persuasion and while usability is still a primary requirement for successful web site design. The interactive online environment offers far more opportunities to influence customers’ decision-making than advertising or marketing channels do.

I visited a few university websites. There were two that stood out to me. The websites is also an important means of communication was one that seems to be particular effective and engaging and the other was so effective and engaging. The one that see more appealing to me was Alcorn State University www.alcorn.edu and the less appealing one was Jackson State University www.jsums.edu  On Alcorn university site, the use of the bright color, animation, graphics, and text enlighten me to look further on the website. The website was very user friendly. The heading structure was a clear visually to the web page. The structure of Alcorn State University structure made it easy to scan the web page contents. The Jackson State University’s website seems to be very small in structure. The website was not as user friendly. The reading of the website was very small and hard to read.

 Web graphics play an important part in the presentation of a website. The graphic on Alcorn State University’s websites was very interesting. Jackson State was very dual and boring. Both Universities has a flash based website, which is a fancy feature that gets the reader’s attention. The logo and colors that both schools choose directly to fit the school schools. Sometimes choosing colors and images says a lot about the school’s personality. Also the information in the site has to reflect what they are offering, with an appropriate, understandable language suitable to visitors. I notice on Alcorn State university website that they have in advance the calendar for the next two terms and Jackson State has not recently updated their websites for the upcoming semesters.

Periodically the sites change information and updates. This is very important to visitors how are interested attending the college. Sustaining webpage and making it productive has a big impact on visitors. Also additional features that might be helpful to display and illustrate may be necessary. Alcorn has many did features and illustration, and Jackson State university has them too, but less. Alcorn State University Business Administration Dept quotes, “The nucleus for this environment is a small class size, dedicated teaching faculty, innovative teaching methodologies and technology, all enhanced through intellectual development”, This statement would get my attention, because it tells me that the class aren’t that big, to where you feel that are almost getting that one-on-one attention from the instructor. JSU doesn’t give any feedback about the environment

My purpose of my website to recruit students in Business Administration major is to provide opportunities for graduate and undergraduate students to learn business principles and techniques, economic theories and policies and to acquire a well-rounded general education. Next I would plan a user friendly map path which my readers could easily find their designation from my home page. Then I would gather information that to create my web and graphic that will catch my readers’ attention, and provide respectful and valid information and making sure my designs have a simplistic approach. Last but not least, draft the designs were the Logos and sites titles stands out.  The one thing that I think that might be useful when creating a website is Persuasive, because what you tell people in writing influences the readers.

Analyzing a Rhetorical Situation

 In ENG 203 there was a particular writing that I had to read. It was “Coming of Age in Mississippi” by Anna Moody. In “Coming of Age in Mississippi” Anne Moody, an activist in the civil rights movement in Mississippi. Coming of Age in Mississippi is a stark testimony to the racial injustice that characterized the southern United States until the civil rights movements of the 1960s brought lasting changes to the region. The southern world into which Moody was born in 1940 was one ruled by whites.I do not think Anna Moody’s though where to become a writer. Anna Moody wanted her readers to understanding the racial situation that went on during the century when she was a child. According to Moody, she experiences growing up poor and black in rural Mississippi, joining the Civil Rights Movement, and fighting racism against blacks in the United States. She wanted to take authority from the whites and she wanted to encourage other members of the black community to do the same. She tells the story of how she faced male control and terror from white supremacists during her days in the struggle, and that she refused the idea of being sheltered and wanted to work as hard as any man did for their independence. Moody fought for the freedom of her race demonstrating that freedom was as important to black women as it was to black men. She made herself known as an activist and stood out as a woman who had her own voice.

Moody’s description of her own leadership positions in the movement provide readers with a detailed historical record of the happenings of the movement as they occurred in  Mississippi “Coming of Age” gives view of the central role of Mississippian politic and activism in the

 national struggle of Civil Rights. Author, Linda Pierce stated, “As Prior to the Civil Rights Movement, almost 90% of African Americans in Mississippi were living below the poverty line; moreover, 45% - 55% of state was comprised of African American citizens, yet only 5% to 6 % were registered voters.”

Anne Moody, over all purpose was to fight for human rights, dignity, justice, equality, and freedom.” As a direct result of Emmett Till, a 14-year-old African-American boy who was brutally murdered in 1955, she decided to joined many civil rights groups. Moody worked in many dangerous areas in Mississippi and as reputation grew, the more her work became threatening. Moody, however, eventually grew frustrated with the movement’s lack of progress and began writing about the civil rights. She understood though that male supremacy was common in the Black Power Movement which would not have allowed her to take part as much as she would have liked.

As Moody’s life pass from childhood to high school and college, there were several changes in the writing. Her language/voice became more angry and frustrated. When the news of Emmett Till was announced her voice became strong adult language. Her childhood was being replaced with adult anger. Her strong language make readers realize she is going through very troubling adult situations and conflict. The adult language helps readers realize her growing frustration.

Readers view Moody’s “Coming of Age” memories, which include the development of her awareness of social construction of race, the phenomenon of “white privilege.” And the process involved in building movements for social change. Moody is one of the many voices of the Civil Rights movement, one of the unsung heroes bravely following in the steps of Martin Luther King, Jr. Moody ended her story in a confusing way, as if she had doubts whether black will ever overcome, but in all Her autobiography “Coming of Age” in Mississippi is highly praised for its realistic.

Good evening everyone! My name is Valencia Hopkins. I am a senior. I am 39 years of age. My major is Office Administration. I am employed here with The University of Southern Mississippi. I work in the Registrar’s office as registration specialist. I have been dodging this class for a long time. I like English, but I think English does not like me (smile). My experiences in writing have been minimal until the last two years in college; before than, I have only learned the basics of writing, like putting together sentences and forming paragraphs. In the last two years of school writing has been complicated experience for me. I lose train of thoughts sometimes I feel like my brain is in overload. Every semester for the last two years I have had at least two or more class where I had to write an essay/paper.

There was one experience where I had to write a 25 page paper and in same semester in another class I had a 10 page paper due. This past semester I had to write a public speech about my future career. In this particular writing you we had to do an outline of the speech we where to present and writing the part of the paper wasn’t so bad. Giving the speech about the paper was complicated. Writing an outline helped a lot in organizing my paper and my thoughts. It also helps in choosing and categorizing different topics in the paper and having sub topics to support the main topic. This process seems to help in having a well organize paper.

Two of the main reasons why it’s difficult for me to write a paper is I always begin to write like I talk and it can be informal sometimes and second, I feel like a scatterbrain. Whenever I start to write a story on one experience, other thoughts about another thing may be trying to flood my brain and then I lose thought about the other one I wanted. Over the years I can tell my writing has improved a lot. In the future, I hope to be able to improve tremendously at writing essays, paragraphs, research papers, documents, and stories.